I crave the state of being
To no longer try and explain the misinterpretation of the way that I feel
Hoping to connect with a being
Just to share the space in my mind for a moment; to hold a hand in the darkness
Wondering if I should rephrase again
the feeling of isolation in attempts for connection
or swallow the feeling with a nod at your misunderstanding
in hopes of not pushing you further away with confusion
Makes me long for a couch and a movie
in the silence of familiar company;
For a hug from my mommy that so perfectly lasts just a little bit too long;
For that 2am conversation, half awake from the top bunk
Makes me wanna hold on to the feeling I had in that moment when I looked at you,
and maybe it was just a feeling,
but if you asked me, I would’ve said that you saw everything,
right down to the little girl on the swing in the back yard
crying and praying, “Will I always feel so alone?”
Makes me wanna run to the arms of my Maker
and cry in his shoulder without a word because He already knows,
And what I would give to really feel his hand in my hand
and hear him whisper once again, “Why're you cryin, baby? You're already home.”
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